I am so frustratingly confusing

I get so frustrated with how my mind works. But try as I might, I cannot convince myself of something once my mind is made up. So yup… After 3 weeks of kinda torture (as much as I tried to hide how much I didn’t like my job) I am quitting. Go me…

I feel about 2 inches tall right now. I am so embarrassed that this didn’t work out. I am so frustrated that I can’t stick it out. But it just was not what I was expecting at all…

First of all, the kids often tell me either a) they hate me b) they wish I never came c) they’re going to make their mom get a new babysitter, or d) I suck compared to their old babysitter. It was enough to make me feel like crap about myself, but if that was the only problem I think I could have handled it. But no, there’s more.

A big thing being that I am so lonely and homesick. I have a room in the basement, far removed from the family. It is understood by both myself and her that my place when I’m done cleaning up from supper is downstairs in that room. I don’t interact with the family at all once my duties are done. I miss my family terribly as a result.

When I was hired, I had the understanding that my duties would include watching the kids when they’re home, cooking dinner, cleaning up after dinner, and the occasional housekeeping chore here and there, such as sweeping, dusting, taking out recycling, etc. Well the straw that broke this sorry camel’s back was the page long list of daily chores she recently gave me. When did I sign up for this? Never.

So, yeah. Call me lazy, call me weak. But I am just not cut out for this job. 

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Bad Lacey..

Oh hey, I’m back.. well aware that it’s been a long time since I’ve posted, and I apologize. To be honest, I think I’m not quite at a place where I’ll be able to keep up with a book study every day, but since that’s what I had promised I was feeling overwhelmed. I’m the kind of person who likes to do stuff all at once, so something so big made me not want to post at all.. But here I am! I’m going to wait a while before continuing my book study, do them when I find the time to do such an involved post. For the rest of the time, I’m just gonna talk babble about schtuff!

If I haven’t yet said (not too sure), the family that I am nannying for is going through a tough time- the parents are in the middle of a separation. It’s not a fun thing for anyone, that’s for sure. Well, probably the dog doesn’t understand, but you know what I mean 😉 Tonight Jenny, the mom, told me that her husband just admitted he was seeing someone else. My heart instantly broke for her. I can’t even imagine how it feels for her to know that he went behind the back of the woman who he said “I do” to and chose another while still in that covenant… It makes me sick!

DO NOT CHEAT! Seriously WHY… I honestly think this is something that there is no excuse for. You have a commitment to another human being, whether it be marriage or just dating. You know you made that commitment, and that they are committed to you. Don’t be such an indecent person that you throw that person aside, for whatever reason, and just pick another one like they’re objects!

Also, DO NOT BE THE “OTHER PERSON”. Yes, it could be true that you don’t even know that the person who is cheating with you is in another relationship, do not knowingly allow them to cheat on someone else with you! I don’t even understand why people would want to be with someone who is cheating on their significant other. If they cheat and lie to that person, why do you believe they won’t with you? 

I don’t know… so much rambling. But seriously I just got angry when Jenny told me that. It stirred up something inside me and I needed to share it. Share your comments and questions down below, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this issue!

Be blessed 🙂

Flourishing In Him

Today has been exhausting to say the least.. None of the kids were having a very good day, it ended with some high drama dinner, and now I am pooped out. But I wanted to update a bit: me and my friend Chloe have started a new YouTube channel, it’s called Flourishing in Him and although we don’t have any videos up soon, we will hopefully within the next week! Most likely I will link new videos on here, but we shall see!

Thats all for tonight.. Sorry for the lack of structured posts lately, hopefully one tomorrow! 

You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 1 Thessalonians 5:5

Be blessed 🙂

Lacey’s Nanny Life #1

So I had intended to write this on either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, but the weekend just flew by so it’s late.. But better late than never, right?
I arrived at the house in Kincardine on Sunday the 3rd at around 6, and was greeted by the friendliest dog ever, Shamas, and three adorable little kids, Bella (6), Peter (5), and Willie (4). While the boys got ready for bed, me and Bella spent some bonding time unpacking (aka she sat on my bed playing with my lamp and I hung up clothes) while she told me of her glorious adventures when she was 1, which included swimming with dolphins and sharks in Florida. She was a super baby, from what I’ve gathered.
Monday morning the boys were home from school, so we spent the morning making puzzles, watching Fireman Sam, and finding out their lunch preferences. Peter is ham and mayo, no crust and cut in half. Willie is any combination of honey, Nutella, and peanut butter, no crusts and not cut. In case you ever need to make them lunch 😉
Monday night I got the grand tour of Kincardine, we went to a lot of places and I remember about 2 of them.. Thank goodness for gps!
Every Tuesday and Wednesday they all go to school, so I was looking forward to a morning of sleep.. Except somehow some wild elephants got into the kitchen which is above my room, so I got to wake up at 7.. But then I let Netflix entertain me, so really I was the winner there, clearly 😉
Tuesday afternoon before the kids were home Grandma Victoria came over, so we had awkward small chat until she went for a nap and I returned to my Netflix 😉
The kiddos came home and then went with G-momma (my sick nickname for her) took them to see the lake (did I mention the beach is literally down the street) so i just relaxed to the max
Then they all went out for dinner, so hello Netflix date.. You may begin to see a trend here..
Wednesday is playgroup, which is luckily one of the places I remember the directions to! So I got to hop in my sporty (lol not) intrepid with g-momma, Peter and Willie and proceed to take 5 minutes to figure out the stinking parking brake- never putting that thing on again! But then we actually got moving and made it to playgroup only 10 minutes late, pretty good for my first time 😉 I met the old nanny, the new minister, and some bratty and adorable small children. Then it was snack time, and dumb nanny Lacey forgot Peters pills.. He has cystic fibrosis and has to take pills before he eats anything so he doesn’t get diarrhea. So he pretty much couldn’t eat.. Good one!
And I was off the hook yet again for dinner, so you guessed it, ravioli and Netflix 😉
Thursday, another school day for everyone, was my first time making a meal for the family. I set out to make meatballs, mashed potatoes, and squash, and despite a disappointingly not thickened sauce and half-rotten squash, it tasted pretty good 😉
Friday they were in school again, and so I cleaned mostly all day, turns out I’m quite the housewife 😉 and then classic hotdogs and fries for supper, which went over well mostly.. Peter is quite.. Let’s say moody, when it comes to supper, so he has yet to actually eat what I’ve made, but I’ll keep you posted on that 😉
So over all a great first week, and hopefully it stays that way!

Weekend Slacker..

Ok so I totally slacked on my blog this weekend.. and if I’m being honest it may become a trend. So if I miss the occasional Friday and/or Saturday don’t hate me! 🙂

And tonight I thought I’d just share something cool that happened today, instead of a structured/following a theme post

So last night I was at home from my nanny job for the weekend. Before I went to bed I started to feel very anxious about going back to work, I felt very homesick and overwhelmed. I woke up this morning in an anxious mood, not looking forward to what the day would hold for me. I let my anxieties get the better of me, and I just wanted to stay in bed forever.

And then I got to church, and the message my pastor had was about peace in all situations. And HELLO what a God moment for me! It was such a great reminder that God is able, God is my provider, and God is with me always. I gave my situation and my anxiety to Him, and I felt so much peace about coming back to work. Now I am back and looking forward to this week. I’m excited to get to know the kids better, and take on my full role as their nanny. It’s a lot of work but God is good and His hand is on me. Praise to Him!

Be blessed 🙂

Obsessed Study- The Obsessed Soul Pt. 2

For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” Romans 10:11

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him. John 3:36

These three verses are included in the second half of the first chapter of the book- obsession with God never puts us to shame, never disappoints, and never leads to destruction. The one thing that we were made to be obsessed with- God- is the answer to our sickness called sin. Being obsessed with God will protect us from harm and suffering- how cool is that? Our God promises to provide, and promises to protect!

This section talks about how nowadays, obsession is often used in a negative way- it’s not so common to hear people called God-obsessed. Obsessions are usually used to describe destructive pleasures and nasty habits or infatuations. People become slaves to their obsessions.

You were designed to be obsessed with God, so when you are obsessed with anything or anyone other than God, that something or someone competes for the role of God in your life. Simply, when anything else becomes an obsession in our lives, it takes the place of God. Like I mentioned in the last post, we cannot serve two Gods at once- if we aren’t obsessed with God, we really aren’t serving him. Bold, yes. But it’s the truth.

I serve like a priest in preaching the Good News from God, in order that the Gentiles may be an offering acceptable to God, dedicated to him by the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:16

Witnessing is an act of worship. What does witnessing mean, exactly? It’s when we talk highly about a given thing, trying to get others to see the beauty, benefit and value of it. I know a lot of people who spend all their time talking about one topic- and truthfully, not many of those peoples’ topic of choice is their Heavenly Father. This really reveals to everyone around them that there is another god in their life.

Obsession can be dangerous because it takes control over a person. Obsessions consume thoughts, feelings, actions, and time- to the point of a person not being their own, but instead belonging to their obsession. This is how addictions form and then are so hard to be broken. The book prompts the reader to look at their own life- to see if there are areas that are controlling them. At this point in my life, I really can honestly say that there is nothing that demands all my attention and thoughts- I don’t have any obsessions. But this wasn’t always the case- just over 3 years ago, an obsession started in my life, and continued until about a year ago. Cutting consumed my thoughts and time for almost 2 entire years- I was a slave to cutting myself. Thankfully, God’s grace allowed me to overcome that obsession and addiction so that I was healed, praise to Him!

The author puts obsessions into 4 groups- fun obsessions, destructive obsessions, frustrating obsessions, and productive obsessions

Fun obsessions- things like romance/love, shopping, talking, getting attention, hobbies, music, friends, looking good, and being popular are all examples of this kind of obsession- things that start off innocently enough but when the feelings grow, you want more, and this can eventually lead you to sin to get them. Soon, you become obsessed and cannot live without them, the beginning of danger.

Destructive obsessions- cutting, eating disorders, alcohol, drugs, sex, worry, fear, gossip, unforgiveness.. the list goes on, and I’m sure there are many you could add to the ones I have mentioned. These things draw people in, promising comfort and release. People begin these seemingly unattractive obsessions because of what they offer. Soon the obsessed are out of control, slaves to what they thought would set them free.

Frustrating obsessions- annoying habits the sufferer wishes they could get away from, things like nail biting, cleaning, OCD, and being perfect. They seem small compared to some of the destructive obsessions, but they control a person in the same way.

Productive obsessions- these are often the ones that are overlooked because they are good things. It could be studying or working, exercising, eating healthy, being responsible, or even doing church activities. Even though they are good, productive things, being obsessed with them still means you are obsessed with something other than God! These things aren’t evil things, but they become dangerous when they are obsessions because they compete for your devotion.

So how do we become obsessed with God? To obsess is to love with everything you have. 

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

To love God with all we have, it’s not about trying. We love Him because he loved us- when we truly recognize all he has done for us out of love, when we grasp it and accept his love, we become obsessed! We can’t fabricate this love, it’s just a natural outpouring as a reaction to his love for us.

Keep following my blog as I break free from what consumes me and go deeper into the lives of the obsessed!

Be blessed 🙂

Obsessed Study- The Obsessed Soul

Good morning! First some business- I had written yesterday morning that this would be up last night.. but after my first day as nanny to three energetic kids, I was completely wiped out, so my apologies! But here it is now 🙂 Join me on my journey to become completely Obsessed with my Daddy God

There is 5 chapters in the book, so I’m going to go through half a chapter in each post!

Chapter 1-The Obsessed Soul

What makes obsessed people different? They’re unstoppable. Their thoughts are completely consumed with whatever obsesses them. They can’t walk away- they want that thing more than anything else. People who are obsessed do all they can to serve their passion.

While I was reading about the different characteristics of the obsessed, I looked at my own life. As I read through this section, I was hugely convicted. If I’m being totally honest (because what’s the point otherwise), I would have to ashamedly admit that up until this current moment in my life, I have not been living in a way that would show obsession for God. I am not obsessed. But my heart’s cry to God has been to give me a desire to become so in love with him that it’s all I can do- I want to be obsessed.

The book makes a very strong statement on the first page: Obsession determines destiny. The things that consume your thoughts and time will determine how you end up.

It also talks about how many of the famous accomplishments in history are a result of obsession. Examples the author gives are da Vinci, Amelia Earhart, Julia Child, and Florence Nightingale. She also shows how the faith-obsessed people in the Bible display how their obsession honoured God. Take people like Abraham, Noah, and Paul. No matter the trials they faced, they remained obsessed with God, and were rewarded for their faithfulness.

God calls us to be obsessed, he created us to be obsessed with Him. It’s in our nature. And he wants us to be completely consumed by Him. Luke 14:33 says it all- “In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples”. God makes it very clear in the bible that we cannot possibly serve two masters- He is our master. We can’t be part-time obsessed- it’s all or nothing. (Matt. 6:24)

Does this challenge you like it does me? I long to be obsessed. I pray that each day I will learn more and love God in everything I do. I pray that I glorify Him and show his light.

Be blessed!

Psalm 29

This morning, I wasn’t really planning on making a post- there will still be one to come tonight! But a sister in Christ, who also happens to be my best friend, sent me a super encouraging text this morning as I woke up and I figured maybe other people need some encouragement too!

Psalm 29

Honor the Lord, you heavenly beings;

honour the Lord for his glory and strength.

Honor the Lord for the glory of his name.

Worship the Lord in the splendour of his holiness.

The voice of the Lord echoes above the sea.

The God of glory thunders. 

The Lord thunders over the mighty sea.

The voice of the Lord is powerful;

the voice of the Lord is majestic.

The voice of the Lord splits the mighty cedars;

the Lord shatters the cedars of Lebanon.

He makes Lebanon’s mountains split like a calf;

he makes Mount Hermon leap like a young wild ox.

The voice of the Lord strikes with bolts of lightning.

The voice of the Lord makes the barren wilderness quake;

the Lord shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.

The voice of the Lord twists mighty oaks and strips the forest bare.

In his Temple everyone shouts, “Glory!”

The Lord rules over the floodwaters.

The Lord reigns as king forever.

The Lord gives his people strength.

The Lord blesses them with peace.

 

Be blessed! 

ch-ch-changes

This has been a super crazy weekend, I apologize for the lack of a post yesterday (although truly I’m sure nobody even follows my blog at this point so I’m probably apologizing to nobody). I have just made the 150 km move to Kincardine, and have been here for about 2 hours so far. I’ve already pretty much fallen in love with these three sweet kids, Bella, Peter, and Willie. They’re so precious!

And my room is also super cute and I really like it, pictures are on my instagram if you want to check it out 🙂 (http://instagram.com/laceyjantzi

I’m pretty excited to start this new chapter of my life, I can’t wait to see what’s in store for me here. I already can tell that I will soon become part of the family, which is so nice compared to my last nanny job- there, I pretty much only saw the parents on Saturday mornings when I went home for the weekend. Here, the mom is so nice and I just feel like this is going to be great 🙂

I’m not sure how exactly my blog will look now that I’m working here.. some of my Facebook friends would do weekly statuses, updating family and friends on what went on each week, so I might dedicate Fridays or Sundays or something to that! But we shall see what happens! 

As for the other days, I’m planning on doing a study on The Divine Dance by Shannon Kubiak Primiciero and Obsessed by Hayley DiMarco.. I wrote a whole post on that on Friday that got deleted accidentally so I won’t go through it all again, but you’ll see what that looks like when it happens!

That’s all for tonight, more structured posts to come starting tomorrow!

In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety. -Psalm 4:8

I found this today while I was looking through the notes on my computer- I’d written it at the beginning of the summer, thought I may as well share it tonight! 🙂

One thing remains: His love will never fail, never give up, or never run up. And if that’s true, then we are set for life! If we are always loved by God, the only one who loves us perfectly, then why do we fear? Why do we worry? God’s got us.

He loves us so much and nothing will ever change that. In every moment, he loves us more than we can even fathom, no matter what we’re doing. Worshipping, praying, reading His word, talking to friends, even sinning. He doesn’t love us any more when we’re worshipping Him than when we are sinning. That is so insanely hard to wrap my head around but it is such a relief.

He will never love us less. We can’t do anything to change His love. He loves us because we are, not because of the things we do. He just loves us. So why do we worry about our future? Why do we stress about jobs, money, anything? God has the best plan and His plan will be the one that prevails.

Be blessed!